Catalog
Episodes
Ep 25: Sleepaway Camp, Overprotective Parents & Why Girl Scout Cookies Are Trash | Hold My BabyJun 9, 2026 · 32 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we're also pretty sure every parenting decision somehow ends with therapy.
This week, Eric and Kira tackle one of parenting's greatest challenges: **summer vacation.** Not the fun kind—the kind where your kids are suddenly home 24/7 asking, *"What are we doing today?"* before you've even had coffee.
Things quickly spiral into:
* Sleepaway camp horror stories our parents definitely made up
* The difference between healthy independence and parental panic
* Why modern parents trust absolutely no one
* Childhood chores that would get adults canceled today
* Eric cleaning toilets for free and being weirdly proud about it
* Kira declaring war on Girl Scout cookies
If you've ever questioned another parent's decision while simultaneously questioning your own...
Congratulations.
You're parenting correctly.- Ep 24: Snack Kids, Bad Drivers & Babies Crying in Movie TheatersJun 2, 2026 · 32 minThis episode spirals immediately into:
* Why modern kids apparently need snacks every 11 minutes
* Kira admitting she may actually BE the problem 😅
* Eric’s immigrant-parent survival techniques
* Teaching teenagers to drive while society completely loses its mind
* Parents bringing screaming babies into movie theaters
* Service dogs the size of actual horses on airplanes
- Ep 23: TSA Chaos, Wonder Woman School Projects & Airport Parenting Fails | Hold My BabyMay 26, 2026 · 31 minThis episode has everything:
* TSA bins becoming the hill Kira is willing to die on
* Eric being “randomly selected” at airports forever because… brown
* Airport parenting that feels less like parenting and more like surrender
* Reclining airplane seats and the silent war of public travel
* Parents refusing to tell their kids “that’s not a real person”
* Kira’s absolutely unhinged OnlyFans retirement plan
- Ep 22: Playdate Horror Stories, Bad Parenting & Kids With ZERO Survival SkillsMay 19, 2026 · 31 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are *this close* to following them to every playdate like undercover agents.
In this episode, we ask a very simple question:
**Why are other people’s kids… like this??**
Things spiral immediately into:
* Dropping your kid off at a “safe” house…
* Parents not knowing where the kids actually are (cool, cool, cool…)
* Why communication between parents is apparently optional now
* The missing survival skills in this generation (???!!)
* Kids having everything… and still having zero motivation
* Are kids actually depressed, or just too comfortable?
If you’ve ever dropped your kid off somewhere and immediately thought:
*“I made a mistake…”* — this episode is for you.
- Ep 21: Verizon Shut Down My Account?! Power Trips, Bad Service & Comedy Club ChaosMay 12, 2026 · 38 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids… while also trying to survive customer service, inflated egos, and people with just a *little* too much authority.
This episode really has everything:
* Parents realizing their kids are growing up WAY too comfortable (suite life only 😅)
* The absolute chaos of dealing with Verizon customer service
* Being told you’re not allowed to ask questions about your OWN account
* Comedy club security acting like they’re guarding national secrets
* Comics being treated like strangers in places they’ve performed for YEARS
* The weird ego culture behind comedy industry gatekeeping
If you’ve ever dealt with customer service and thought: *“Am I being punk’d right now?”* — this episode is for you.
- Ep 20: It's one of THE Talks, Bullying Myths & Rental Car NightmaresMay 5, 2026 · 35 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also question every parenting decision immediately after making it.
Let me stop you right there...today we are talking about:
* Parents who are *way too open* vs parents who grew up with zero sex talk
* Locker room trauma, nicknames, and why kids are ruthless
* The myth of “bullying” vs what bullying actually was growing up
* Parenting today vs the “walk uphill both ways while being threatened” era
* Why every parent is now documenting EVERYTHING just to protect themselves
If you’ve ever thought: *“Am I doing this right… or just surviving?”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.
- Ep 19: Bad Party Food, Gift Etiquette & Parenting JudgmentApr 28, 2026 · 33 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we will absolutely judge you for bringing off-brand soda to a party. We get into: * Parents drinking (or not drinking) and how we cope with life * Comedy, performing sober, and why being sharp actually matters * Porto’s saving every party like the MVP it is * Why bad party food is actually offensive (yes, we said it) * Parenting paranoia around allergies and food safety * The emotional trauma of giving thoughtful gifts If you’ve ever gone to a party, looked at the food, and thought *“I should’ve eaten before I got here”*… this episode is for you.
- Ep 18: iPad Parents, ‘Be Nice’ Hecklers & Parenting HypocrisyApr 21, 2026 · 29 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also expect you to **put the iPad down, be present, and stop yelling “BE NICE” at comedians.**
This episode starts with a classic parenting moment:
You go to your kid’s school performance to support them… and instead you’re watching the entire show through someone else’s **giant glowing iPad screen** like it’s a drive-in movie from hell.
From there, things spiral (as they should):
* iPad parents recording ENTIRE performances no one will ever watch
* Why your kid actually wants to see your face — not your device
* Over-the-top empowerment speeches from strangers (relax, we got it)
* Parenting messages that sound good… but make zero sense
* Old comics who refuse to evolve (we said what we said)
* Comedians being offered “vacation gigs” that actually COST money
If you’ve ever sat behind someone recording a full performance and thought *“this is why society is collapsing”* — welcome home.
- Ep 17: Japan Travel Chaos, Car Dealership Hacks & Parenting Fails AbroadApr 14, 2026 · 26 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also expect them to survive international travel without losing their minds (or ours).
In this episode, Erik and Kira take parenting global — literally — with a chaotic **family trip to Japan**, where Eric realizes he is no longer the confident dad… he is now a confused tourist holding Google Translate like it’s a survival tool.
We get into:
* Traveling internationally with kids and realizing you know NOTHING
* Japanese snacks that look cute but might be… questionable
* HOLD MY BABY: Why are napkins in Japan the size of a postage stamp?
* Tesla vs gas cars (and why parents just want convenience)
* Getting detained internationally
* And of course… parenting through all of it without losing your mind
If you’ve ever traveled with kids and thought *“we are never doing this again”… but then immediately booked another trip*, this episode is for you.
- Ep 16: Car Dealership Scams, Tesla vs Gas & Kids Getting BulliedApr 7, 2026 · 30 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast**, where two comedian parents attempt to navigate modern parenting, school drama, and adult responsibilities… while barely holding it together.
In this episode Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich tackle some very important parenting issues, such as:
• Buying a new car and realizing dealerships are basically psychological warfare
• Why ordering a Tesla online might be the only sane way to buy a car in 2026
• The genius (and slightly terrifying) **“Kira Method” for negotiating car prices**
• Electric cars vs gas cars and why parents just want something that works
• Kids entering the **fifth-grade hormonal chaos phase**
• When your child gets bullied and suddenly you’re ready to fight a ten-year-old’s parents
Because let’s be honest… parenting is mostly about trying to raise kind humans while resisting the urge to fight other people’s children.
- Ep 15: Kids, Phones, Therapy & Parenting Chaos | When Parents Try Their BestMar 24, 2026 · 29 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast** — the parenting podcast where two comedians attempt to raise children while also trying not to completely lose their minds. In this episode, Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich dive into the chaos of **modern parenting, phones and kids, generational parenting differences, therapy, and the strange realization that our parents definitely did some questionable things… but somehow we survived.**
- Ep 14: Korean Spa Chaos, Volunteer Parent Rage & Kids Addicted to PhonesMar 17, 2026 · 32 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re just trying to raise decent children… and also survive other people’s parenting choices.
In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into the chaos of modern parenting:
Why are kids always on screens? Why do parents never volunteer but always have opinions? And why is Kira so committed to being naked with Koreans?
We cover:
* The dangers of too much coffee and too much confidence
* Coaching Little League because your kid suddenly has friends again
* Wild kids at school events whose parents disappear into thin air
* Phones at pool parties and why they should be confiscated at the door
If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only adult paying attention?” — welcome. This is your support group.
- Ep13: Kids, Phones, Therapy & Sick Children in PublicMar 10, 2026 · 31 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also believe in boundaries, deodorant, and not showing up to someone’s house with a sick child like it’s a fun surprise.
In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral immediately (as usual) into:
* Coffee addictions and morning chaos
* The eternal parenting debate: **Do you just say NO… or do you ask gentle therapy questions?**
* Kids being feral gremlins who shove EVERYTHING into drawers
* The horror of your kid repeating “guess who doesn’t use condoms?” at school
If you’ve ever wanted to scream “STAY HOME IF YOUR KID THREW UP TODAY”… congratulations. This episode is for you.
- Ep 12: Volunteer Parent Rage, Party Kids Gone Wild & Crocs at PaintballMar 3, 2026 · 34 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… but we also expect basic manners, social skills, and maybe a little gratitude when adults are doing unpaid labor for them.
In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into two of parenting’s greatest nightmares:
1. **Adults who refuse to volunteer but have endless opinions**
2. **Kids at parties who disappear into your house like tiny feral raccoons**
We get into:
* Korean spas, gym “bang,” and why this podcast needs supervision
* Coaching Little League again because your kid suddenly has friends
* Volunteering at school and realizing some parents truly do not care
* Parent Nights rules: pre-feed your child or don’t come
* HOLD MY BABY: kids showing up to paintball in Crocs like it’s a beach day
If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only parent doing anything?” — congratulations. This episode is for you.
- Ep 11: ChatGPT Parenting, Dumb Dad Movie Tropes & Braggy ParentsFeb 24, 2026 · 32 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising children, enforcing rules, and quietly wondering why we’re the only ones paying attention.
In this episode, Erik and Kira break down the real family hierarchy:
Who’s actually in charge? Who’s the sheriff? Who doesn’t even know the dentist’s name? And why does Hollywood insist dads are one step away from burning the house down?
Things spiral beautifully into:
* Parenting roles: regional manager vs part-time supervisor
* Hollywood dads being unrealistically helpless
* Kids using AI to cheat smarter, not harder
* The nightmare of Chromebooks + YouTube Shorts at school
* HOLD MY BABY: braggadocious parents who can’t stop one-upping
* The reverse-psychology compliment strategy to humble them
If you’ve ever wanted to say “please stop talking” at a school pickup… welcome home.
- Ep 10: Water Polo Parenting Fail, Scholarship Dreams & FedEx RageFeb 17, 2026 · 31 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… and also want them to be *slightly impressive* someday. Not even famous. Just… employable. Athletic. Motivated. Alive.
In this episode, Erik signs his 13-year-old up for **water polo** (because scholarships don’t grow on trees), only for it to become his son’s **first and last class**. We get into the eternal parenting battle:
Do you push your kid to stick with something… or do you let them quit immediately and raise a future adult who “doesn’t like hard things”?
Then we spiral into:
* Parenting teamwork (and when your spouse sabotages your discipline plan)
* How kids have zero spark now (sorry, but it’s true)
* Why hobbies like golf and running are basically rich-people time travel
* Home Depot vs IKEA parenting budgets
* FedEx customer service rage and “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Be a friend. Tell a friend. And please… stop letting kids quit after ONE practice.
- Ep 9: Christmas Break Parenting Burnout & Why Child-Free People Need to RelaxFeb 10, 2026 · 32 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also believe **school should be open 24/7** for the sake of civilization.
In this episode, Erik and Kira return from a hiatus with the kind of energy you only get after **three weeks of Christmas break** and zero personal space. They break down why winter break is basically a hostage situation, why camps cost more than rent, and what happens when you’ve already taken away TV, video games, and phones… and your kid is still acting like a villain.
Then things get worse (in the best way), because we also get into:
* Remodeling a kid’s room while stepping on decapitated Barbie heads
* Husbands with garages that look like **Home Depot got punched in the face**
* Why kids don’t learn basic life skills anymore
* HOLD MY BABY: If you don’t have kids… stop telling parents you’re tired
* Doodle dogs, allergies, Whole Foods supplements, and **anal gland expression** (unfortunately)
You’re welcome. Now go drink water and send your kids outside.
- Ep 8: Boat Party Horror Story, Airline Seat Wars & ‘Be Nice’ HecklersFeb 3, 2026 · 33 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids, dodging weird adults, and trying not to get kicked off airplanes for enforcing basic human etiquette.
In this episode, Erik and Kira cover the *real* dangers of adulthood: being invited to a “boat party” that turns into a soft-launch threesome, promoters who demand you call them **Captain**, comics with fake one-word stage names, and airline passengers who think the window seat is a community resource.
We get into:
* Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop
* Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman”
* The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career
* Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal
* HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church
If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode.
- Ep 7: Family Photos, Teen Mustaches & Public Speakerphone RageJan 27, 2026 · 31 minWelcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we lovingly judge your choices while actively questioning our own.
This episode starts with denim debates and pajama pants denial, spirals into family photos we *swore* we’d never take, and somehow ends with public speakerphone etiquette, airplane seating warfare, and mustache-based childhood trauma.
Erik and Kira unpack:
* Pajama pants disguised as “real clothes”
* Family portraits, matching pajamas & becoming the parents you mocked
* Growing up without photos and why it hits later
* Old-school parenting discipline (the *look*, the whisper, the dressing room)
* Teen mustaches, shaving politics & rites of passage
* Puberty, grooming, and projecting your childhood onto your kids
* Speakerphone psychopaths in public
* Comedy Store parking lot chaos
* Exit-row airplane survival strategies (again, because people are animals)
If you’ve ever said *“I used to make fun of those parents… and now I am them,”* welcome home.
- Ep 6: No Crocs, No Poop & Airline Rage | Hold My BabyJan 20, 2026 · 32 minThis episode starts with smiling anger (the most dangerous kind), detours into crying on airplanes, and somehow lands squarely on **why Crocs are ruining society**, why airline seating should come with photos, and why **your child is absolutely not allowed to poop in our house**.
- Ep 5: School Rules, YouTube Kids & Parenting Without a ManualJan 13, 2026 · 29 minThis episode starts with a brutally honest breakdown of **how much money it costs to look like a woman over 40**, spirals into YouTube phrases your kids should *never* repeat at school, and somehow ends with school lunch rules that feel like minimum-security prison.
- Ep 4: Trench Coats, Big Feelings & ‘Not In My House’ ParentingJan 6, 2026 · 29 minThis episode starts with a classic Hold My Baby moment: a kid in a full black leather trench coat, gloves, and Terminator sunglasses… in 70-degree Southern California weather. From there, Eric and Chiara spiral (responsibly) into parenting instincts, emo kids, trench coats, “big feelings,” and why some things are simply “not in my house.”
- Ep 3: Disneyland RangeDec 30, 2025 · 30 minIn this episode, Erik and Kira tackle Disneyland chaos, stroller etiquette crimes, screen-obsessed children, video game addiction, and why 5:30 a.m. is not a reasonable time to play Roblox like a hedge fund manager. From leash backpacks (no), to stroller-sized teenagers (also no), to comedy audiences who demand to speak to the manager — this one is pure parental rage therapy.
- Ep 2: The TalkDec 23, 2025 · 28 minComedians and parents Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich attempt to talk about “the talk” — and immediately derail into debates about whiteness, puberty horror stories, Netflix parental controls and why strict parenting is basically a launchpad for chaos.
- Ep 1: Kira Is Erik BackwardsDec 16, 2025 · 32 minInaugural Episode
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