Podcast
To Be Continued with Cristela Alonzo
Catalog
Episodes
- EPISODE 40: I’M GOING TO BE HONEST. YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW ME.Mar 17, 2025 · 52 minAfter a long hiatus, I'm finally back with another episode where I decided to come clean about myself. I think people always think they know me but really, I keep a lot to myself. I chose to upload it today because today I made a MAJOR announcement and wanted to talk about it in depth. I also want to give a shout-out to my four listeners. I hope you're still around!
- EPISODE 39: I'M NOT HIGH OR LOW...I'M MEDIUM MAINTENANCEOct 6, 2023 · 38 minI'm back with a new episode where I thank my new (and old) supporters and talk about how being in the middle can be a great thing. Also, talk about mental health and how it affects me and how I treat myself....and the Cowboys. lol
- EPISODE 38: I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP, I'M A TOYS 'R US KID (FINALLY)Apr 20, 2023 · 38 minThis week I talk about my toy/retro video game haul that I got in San Jose while doing shows at the IMPROV with my friends Steve Halasz and Jerry Rocha and how buying old stuff can unlock moments that bring back memories and remind you of times when you were happy. Sometimes we need that reminder.
- EPISODE 37: LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE. EVERYONE ELSE SUCKSApr 14, 2023 · 37 minI went to Wrestlemania 39 last week. Grew up a wrestling fan and had some people criticize it because "it isn't real." It made me realize how much people LOVE to judge things people might like because THEY think it's weird or lame. My point is: If it makes you happy....who cares? It's hard to find joy sometimes. When you find it, don't let it go.
- EPISODE 36: TRYING TO DO VIDEO WITH MY PODCAST BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS YEARS BEHIND EVERYONE ELSEApr 6, 2023 · 42 minThis week, I talk about how it's been over a year since we last talked! Haha...the video of this podcast will be available on YouTube. I also talk about being tired and busy and what I've been up to. For example, I just got back from Mexico City working on something!
- EPISODE 35: It's A Next Year! My List of Five Random Things That I Kind Of Remember From 2021Jan 1, 2022 · 35 minI just wanted to do a quick episode to say "It's The Next Year!" to everyone. I'm saying this instead of Happy New Year's because why give you the pressure of trying to be happy if you don't feel like it? I decide to randomly do a list of five things I remember of the top of my head about 2021....not good or bad....also, I mention NFTs but I don't know what they are?
- EPISODE 34: Merry Christmas! If I'm Wearing Pantyhose, I'm Robbing A StoreDec 26, 2021 · 44 minThis episode was recorded on Christmas as a Christmas gift to all of my four listeners. In this episode I catch everyone up on where I've been and what my year has been like. It's had ups and downs and guess what? I'm still here. I talk a little bit about writing a Lifetime Christmas movie, hosting Legends of The Hidden Temple and preparing to shoot my second Netflix stand-up special!
- EPISODE 33: Are You Sure You Can Afford That $12 Sports BraJun 25, 2021 · 48 min
- EPISODE 32: Why I Hustle in Silence And Let The Lamborghini Make The Noise...Jun 18, 2021 · 39 minThis week, I talk about having a baby...my niece NOT me though I do like to eat for two but that's another story and seriously...can we make a Lego set of Los Bukis a real thing?
- EPISODE 31: Do You Ever Ask Yourself If You're 'Enough?'Jun 10, 2021 · 44 minI finally made a new episode of my podcast and explain how the struggle I have with doing my podcast is the question that makes me wonder if I'm doing "enough" for people to want to listen. I always catch up everyone on what I've been up to...like writing a Lifetime Christmas movie with a predominately Latino cast, directed by an awesome female director and why I'm so into vintage clothes lately.
- EPISODE 30: Should Birthdays During A Pandemic Count?Jan 2, 2021 · 45 minThis week, my listeners realize I'm back after taking months hiatus to try to help save democracy. Did it work? We still don't know! Starting the year with a new podcast to catch people up. Also, for the first time ever, I talk about my birthday in public and about roller skating.
- EPISODE 29: The Last Four Years Feel Like I Get A Daily Paper Cut And Touch LemonsAug 6, 2020 · 52 minIn this week's podcast, I talk about what projects I've been working on lately, my work with the Joe Biden campaign and why the Trump presidency feels like what the name of this episode is: The Last Four Years Feels Like I Get A Daily Paper Cut And Touch Lemons!!!
- EPISODE 28: TGIF (Tias, Goya Is Fired) EVERYONE!Jul 11, 2020 · 48 minThis week, I break down why the media is not "a virus" and how I love when I ask people to unfollow me because they support a racist. Also, I talk about the magic of Latino supermarkets and why our spending power is a tool we need to learn how to use more...I'm not talking to Goya anymore, it knows what it did.
- EPISODE 27: Stop The Spreading Of The KarenavirusJul 2, 2020 · 42 minIt's time we talk about the importance of wearing masks during a pandemic where people are dying....and how not wanting to wear one because it's about freedom is the dumbest thing I've heard. Go run into a burning building after fire fighters tell you not to because of "FREEDOM" then....(insert eye roll here)
- EPISODE 26: How About A Jeffrey Dahmer Statue? He's Part Of Our History Too...Jun 25, 2020 · 34 minThis week, I talk about breaking all of my four listeners' hearts last week when I DIDN'T podcast. Also, I talk about why we like to celebrate the worst parts of our history and pretend like those were the good old days. And....why my VERY Catholic mom taught me to support LGBTQ.
- EPISODE 25: The Person That Knows Me Best...Jun 10, 2020 · 1 hr 13 minThis week, I introduce my best friend Steve to my four listeners. If you follow me on social media or have seen me on tour, then you know him. We got people from IG to have Steve ask me questions they wanted the answers to because he knows, I don't really like to get too personal...
- EPISODE 24: Black Lives MatterJun 4, 2020 · 32 minIn this week's episode, I talk about why I support the protests and talk a little about why it's important to support the movement and make sure you don't insert yourself into it. There's really nothing more to say about it.
- EPISODE 23: I Was Depressed? I Just Thought I Was PoorMay 28, 2020 · 52 minThis week, I talk about my love of space and science, I break down my breakdown from 2018-2019 because it's Mental Health Awareness Month and the thing I'm into this week is money...YOUR money!
- EPISODE 22: White People Should Stay Out of Haunted HousesMay 20, 2020 · 52 minThis week, I dive into why I LOVE scary movies but also what is wrong with them and talk about why I’m wearing workout clothes but not working out. Also, I talk about how I’m the kind of person that makes playlists about playlists.
- EPISODE 21: St. Vicks Vaporub - The Saint Of Healing On A BudgetMay 13, 2020 · 52 minThis week, I break down low-budget health care and talk about what it was like translating action movies for my mom as a kid. Also, I list all the video game consoles/systems I have and talk about Animal Crossing. Did I mention I'm single? Pew Pew.
- EPISODE 20: Taking Down My Cinco De Mayo TreeMay 6, 2020 · 44 minThis week, I talk about the importance of Cinco de Mayo, one of the holiest holidays for my Mexican community and how I'm having a hard time understanding it's May. Also, I go on about comic book movies and how I want to give people bricks.
- EPISODE 19: When My Phone Dies, I Die TooApr 29, 2020 · 52 minThis week, I talk about how the most helpful thing to get me through a pandemic was growing up poor because I've been going without necessities my entire life. I also talk about how I'm a proud plant mom and talk about what the hell "Planturday" is. Also, I talk about my phone because why on earth would I name my episode that and NOT talk about my phone?
- EPISODE 18: My 80's Movie MakeoverApr 22, 2020 · 55 minDuring this time of a global pandemic, I have decided to give myself a makeover because I have great timing. Sure, why not? It turns out, this time has been serving as a reset button for myself and I somehow end up talking about how even Barbie gets in a bad mood sometimes. Trust me, it all makes sense.
- EPISODE 17: Time Doesn't Exist AnymoreApr 15, 2020 · 1 hrThis week, I'm at the point where I've lost all concept of time and how because of that, I ended up exploring the world of conspiracy theories. Also, I talk about the resurrection of a long, lost skill I forgot I had.
- EPISODE 16: DOING THE BEST WE CANApr 9, 2020 · 48 min
- EPISODE 15: HOW A FRIENDSHIP SAVED MY LIFEMay 18, 2019 · 54 min
- EPISODE 14: I'M NOT SPECIAL. WHERE'S MY AWARD?May 10, 2019 · 1 hr 8 min
- EPISODE 13: THIS IS FOR MY FOUR LISTENERS…May 1, 2019 · 53 min
- EPISODE 12: TREAT YOURSELF LIKE GUCCIJul 30, 2018 · 50 minJULY 30, 2018: In episode #12, I talk about my return to social media after months of absence to focus on myself. I get honest about what has been going on with me, including changes that have made me take control of my life better and I talk about the importance of taking care of yourself mentally/physically. Oh, and I throw a little Star Trek: The Next Generation chat in there too.
- EPISODE 11: SMALL GOALS LEAD TO BIG CHANGES...Jan 9, 2018 · 51 minIn episode #11, I talk about how heavy rain makes me homesick, my trip to Sacramento to see my friend on her first day as State Assemblymember, and how I spent my birthday. The thing I'm into this week is watching videos of the ocean, reigniting my love of science.
I end by checking in on how everyone's "resolutions" (goals) are going and remind people to not be so hard on themselves. ❤️
- EPISODE 10: HEY 2018, DON'T BE LIKE 2017...Jan 2, 2018 · 54 minIn episode #10, I talk about how I brought in the new year sick, I discuss how against New Year's resolutions I am while still talking about the importance of having goals (there's a difference). I tell you what I want for 2018 are (hint: new stand-up special/tour) and I talk about how writing a book is hard but also...how much I like a good challenge.
- EPISODE NINE: MY MOM PLANNED MY FUNERAL AS A JOKE...Dec 10, 2017 · 54 minIn episode #9, I talk about how creating more structure in my life is helping me to succeed more, how I've been taught to do everything for everyone yet still neglect myself, and my new obsession this week are pajamas and robes because it wasn't until I became an adult that I realized some people have enough money to have a separate wardrobe just for sleeping and now I'm all about it! ❤️
- EPISODE EIGHT: LET'S MAKE IT A BLOCKBUSTER NIGHTDec 1, 2017 · 57 minIn episode #8, I talk about how families used to rent VHS tapes for fun, how I cleaned out my closet and the psychology behind why it's so hard for me to wear nice clothes, my disappointment in the internet and how my new OBSESSION is this thing I made up called 'wogging.'
- EPISODE SEVEN: HOME ALONE: THANKSGIVINGNov 23, 2017 · 56 minLet's talk Thanksgiving, being a first generation American, the important of taking care of ourselves and love songs!
- EPISODE SIX: DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACKNov 16, 2017 · 56 minAfter a year +, Cristela is back with a new episode. In it, she catches you up on some of the stuff she's been up to like traveling, stand-up, Cars 3 and everything in between...
- EPISODE FIVE: ROCK N TROLLJun 2, 2016 · 53 minThis episode discusses what happens what ignorant people say when they're allowed to be as hateful as they want and remain anonymous. I posted about my mother coming to this country and Twitter let me have it. HOW DARE SHE COME TO THE US?
- Episode Four: Am I A Woman?May 19, 2016 · 40 minI never understood why so many people (throughout my life) feel the constant need to criticize me and tell me that I'm not woman enough. I don't wear makeup all the time, I like wearing sneakers....and of course, that means I'll never get married and have kids....because you know, me liking sneakers means I'm going to die a spinster.
- Episode Three: Recycling To The OldiesMay 11, 2016 · 29 minThis week, I talk about how innovative my mom was in making things last. I'm reminded by it because this past weekend, I met so many mothers at the Mother's Day show I did and it made me nostalgic. I also discuss great and terrible songs I used to love and why being a maid was my dream growing up.
- Episode Two - The Race Card: The Final FrontierMay 4, 2016 · 31 minStar Trek. Barre classes. Tortillas. Somehow all these words end up connecting with each in a half hour.
- TO BE CONTINUED: EPISODE ONE, HELLO!Apr 25, 2016 · 23 minThis is my first episode and know that not everyone will know who I am so this is an introduction where I tell you a little bit about myself.
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